FunnyStories, Los Angeles

Messing with the LAPD

One afternoon I was rushing in the street, didn’t even look at the light and just followed a person who was crossing the street, though it seemed everyone else was stopping. And, a cop drove towards us right after. Oh-oh! I was terrified.

He gave a ticket to the other guy and started writing one for me after he left. Of cause I was going to talk myself out of it. I pulled out all my acting skills, played dumb, acted I don’t speak English, and cried. But, it didn’t work. He’s just a damn strict stubborn good cop. I was surprised that he even know to call me ‘Sa Jiao撒娇’ (fractious) in Mandarin, and I said no, I don’t understand that, I’m Cantonese.

When it came to a point that I just have to accept the fact that this is my fault and I need to pay for my lesson. But, it doesn’t mean that I can’t have fun and make a joke out of it to make me feel better.

Cop: Please don’t cry, everyone is staring at me now.
Me: It’s your fault, you’re making me cry.
Cop: Please sign here!
Me: … Can I not sign it?

Me: What about I give you my Bottega Louie desert?
Cop: No, I can’t.

Me: Can I throw it(the ticket) to the bin?
Cop: No, you can’t. I have a copy here.
Me: Can we throw away your copy too?
Cop: No, because there’s a number in each ticket.
Me: Why did you write it at the first place then?

Me: Do you have tissue?
Cop: No, I don’t have tissue.
Me: So you just give people ticket and you don’t give tissue.
Cop: Maybe I have wet tissue, but it’s wet.
Me: I don’t want it if it’s wet.

He started searching from one side of his bike, and showed me a piece of cloth he found.

Me: Is it dirty? I don’t want it if it’s dirty.

He went to the other side of his bike, continued searching. He found a bunch of wet tissues, opened one and handed to me. I gave it back to him after touching it: “it’s wet, I don’t want it”. He went back to the bike again and tired to give me the piece of cloth.

Me:I don’t want that cloth, it’s dirty!
Cop: I don’t have anything else, and now my storage boxes are all messy.

I started laughing and continue messing around with him.

Me: Don’t move, I need to take a picture of you, upload it on facebook and tell everyone you are the worst cop in LA.
Cop: You hella funny!
Me: I don’t care, don’t move.

Then one of the passengers suggested I need to be in the picture, and the ticket.

Me: My name is Roxanne, remember me. Roxanne from China, you are going to regret giving me the ticket in the future.
Cop: Why? Who do you know?
Me: Just remember my name(smiley face).
Cop: Who do you know?
Me: Now go give more people tickets. I’m leaving.

God! I was evil.

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